STUBBING SWORD

AUGUST 22, 2012

The call of Aunt Berna disturbed the silence in the office. She was happily reporting to me that she received the good news from the SGH.  You are NORMAL!! The amniocentesis result went well in just about 10 working days. 

Praise God! I am relieved now. I was so excited to call papa and our family overseas. I had reported the big good news to them. She told me that I must be very extra careful now that we level up in our accomplishments. Our thorns of worry where slowly removed.

            I was excited  to see doctor this 27th of August considering I had not confirm your gender yet. I was also looking forward to get your printed data from your doctor regarding your amniocentesis and to resolve the lump mystery in your tummy.

            I still continued to eat iron rich foods and other nutritious foods. I could felt also that you were frequently kicking and playing inside my tummy. You were more active at night than in the morning. I prayed that you will be healthy and wishing you all the best.

Grow well. Be happy. We were excitedly waiting for you.

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT YOU   

    

Your sensory developments were exploding! Your brain was designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that you may be able to hear my voice now. So often I talked to you. We listened to music. I placed the headphone to my tummy in order you can hear papa’s voice each time talked on line. I was not shy singing a happy tune to you if the mood stroke me.

You weighed about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom —about a size of a heirloom tomato. Your arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of your body now. Your kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on your scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on your skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-19-weeks_1108.bc?intcmp=timeline

AUGUST 27, 2012

This day is the most exciting day.  We visited again Dr. Tan to reveal the lump mystery in your tummy. So, I and aunt Berna went to the hospital. I was examined again, but this time the examination in the laboratory was too long. I may fell asleep because the sonographer did a very detailed check-up on you. Aunt Berna was a bit anxious considering she had still a work on that day, and she doesn’t want to be absent. The check-up consumed an hour. Then we waited another half hour in the queue in order we can see Dr. Tan for the conference.

After a long time of waiting, we finally met him. We all seated comfortably, exchanging our happy moods.  Dr. Tan congratulated us for the successful amniocentesis and all of the result was normal. However the atmosphere suddenly changed when we received some devastating news from him. 

You were diagnosed of having omphalocele, a rare and serious birth defect. I was flabbergasted yet I listen carefully to his explanations. It was a birth defect in which the intestine or other abdominal organs stick out of the belly button (navel). The intestines were covered only by a thin layer of tissue. Aunt Berna asked its prognosis of your lump. He replied sadly, “Poor.”

 The prognosis was considered poor with the chances of additional problems such as cardiac defects. Omphalocele is a life-threatening condition that needs immediate treatment. It needs to be treated soon after birth so that the baby’s organs can develop and be protected in the belly. Termination was a considered a reasonable option and suggested by the doctor; yet he laid to us the decision whether to continue the pregnancy or to terminate it. If we use to continue, a major surgery must be done right after your birth. I must undergo cesarean section to protect your internal organs that stuck out from your belly button. 

In my side, I was speechless as if there is a lump in my throat. I was getting emotional. Aunt Berna and the nurse tried to comfort me. They were holding and patting my shoulder gently as if everything was fine. My thoughts run wildly yet I remained my composure. “No matter what will happen, I must be objective in my decision,” my thoughts whispered. I further asked whether this situation may affect your brain and your health as well in the future. He replied, “Cognitive wise it has nothing to do with it; nevertheless your health must be based upon how you response to the surgery. A lot of things would be then inevitable because we only relied on his coping mechanism after your surgery.” 

I my heart squeezed. I pitied you. I was in teary eyed. The doctor held my left cheek saying all the best in us. He will be respecting whatever decisions we had. He knew that Filipinos were pro life. After the conference, I burst my tears in the toilet room. I couldn’t afford to lose you. You were so special to me and I loved you. I am willing to give up everything just to bring you to life normally, healthy and happily. At this point my sister can’t stay long to me considering she had work to attend – her bread and butter. So we parted our ways with a heavy heart.The doctor gave me all your data considering we will be going back to Philippines. I can't gave my delivery here in this foreign land because my care group was overseas. 

As soon as I arrived home, I can’t helped but to cry and asked the question "why me, why I am one in 5,000?" I immediately called my family for comfort. We chatted on line, expressing my devastation. They were worried and crying. Luckily majority of my support group had faith in God that encouraged me to move on. The immense supports of our friends here in Singapore and the incredible web-based support group also rekindle my hope that I will carry on you. I believed in God’s power though I can’t see it. I knew He worked in very special way. I was not crying anymore. I continued to listen God’s praising songs and to read inspirational stories.

We continued to pray that you will have a very successful operation and you may live normally, happily and healthy. We love you baby.

“For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
When I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
Were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
Psalm 139: 13-16

Furthermore, it is confirmed that your gender is a male!

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT YOU

              You weighed about 10 1/2 ounces now. You were also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. You were swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. You also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-20-weeks_1109.bc?intcmp=timeline